What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

What part of a football field is never the same?

Who's the biggest downer in baseball?

What's a villain's favorite Thanksgiving tradition?

What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?

Who do all the Catholic dogs pray to?

What do you call a Volkswagen bus at the top of a hill?

Why is Michael Phelps never late?

What is the best book to read in autumn?

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him..

When does the devil get all of his shopping done?

Which family member is always relieved?

Why is Dad hugging the barbecue?

My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.

How do bunnies stay fit?