What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

Any maid is great at keeping secrets.

Why do Labradors always have so much energy?

Which family member is always relieved?

What's the most fashionable side at Thanksgiving?

Did you see that new Matthew McConaughey movie?

Why are groundhogs so grouchy?

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?

What do you call it when a robotic cat stops working?

Why did the elk have great hair?

What type of shoes in a ninja's favorite?

What do you call a river that thinks it's an ocean?

What did the grandpa corn say to his grandson?

Why are air conditioners always out of breath when it's hot out?

Why is it so cold at Christmas time?