What do you call a monkey that wins a sporting event?

What's the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

What did the coach say to the broken vending machine?

What kind of music did the kids play for their dad?

Why can't you trust a pig?

What did one flame say to the other on Valentine's Day?

What do people call Arnold Schwarzenegger in retirement?

Did you see that new Matthew McConaughey movie?

Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?

What utensil does water use to eat?

Why did spring break up with winter?

What day do hands always go to church?

What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him..

Why do all ocean animals get along with mollusks?