What's the only career where you can never sit down?

What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

How did the border collie's owner know that it borrowed his book?

What is the best Christmas present ever?

Why are English teachers so smart?

What do you call an 80-year-old cheerleader?

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

What do you call a long line of people waiting for their hotdog?

What type of bean doesn't have protein?

What's a dentist's favorite movie?

What do fish use for glasses?

What animal is undefeated in all sports?

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?

Why are skeletons so calm?

What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?