What's one thing a lawyer knows never works when it's fixed?

Why was the plumber predicted to win American Idol?

What do you call a tractor that gets paid for what it does?

Why are basketball players such messy eaters?

How do vampires get around on Halloween?

What utensil does water use to eat?

Why can you never find the number nine?

Where did the music teacher leave his keys?

Why did the comedian keep telling jokes about chemistry?

What do mice do when they're at home?

What goes up when spring rain comes down?

What's a mom's favorite headwear?

Which fast food chain can run the fastest?

Who is every soccer player's least favorite band?

Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about the United States?