What's a writing utensil's favorite state?

I used to be addicted to not showering.

What do you call a belt made of clocks?

Did you hear about the vacuum cleaner that can cut your housework in half?

What did Snow White™ say while waiting in line for her photos?

What's a feline's favorite class in school?

What does bread say when it gets too warm?

Why is it impossible to believe anything a cow says?

Why does an elephant wear sneakers?

What is Saint Nick's nickname during the summer?

Why was the father caterpillar so angry?

Why do scorpions feel hopeful about fall?

Why is everyone good at math during elections?

Why did the sheriff lock up his valentine?

What does a jack-o-lantern like to read?